


The curious case of Eliot Spencer

by MiriRainbowitz



Category: Leverage
Genre: Kinda Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 19:11:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4031344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriRainbowitz/pseuds/MiriRainbowitz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was supposed to be a nice, normal job.</p><p>Birthday fic for Anna, because I'm too broke to actually buy her something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [acrushonesmeralda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/acrushonesmeralda/gifts).



It was supposed to be a nice, normal job.

Alec had easily found the money trail leading back to Mr. Smythe, and now Amy, who was their third back-up grifter, was having a “business lunch” with him so Parker could break into his office and Eliot could case the warehouse.

Over the comms, Alec could hear Parker mutter derisively about Smythe’s security as she cracked the wall safe (after she’d plugged the transfer cord into his processor), while Amy was keeping up a good conversation. By contrast, Eliot was mostly silent, the occasional grunt and thud as he dispatched security guards the only sounds he was making. 

At this point, Alec had a decidedly good feeling about this job, so naturally that was when things started going wrong.

It started with his bank accounts showing up on Alec’s computer screens- accounts that were distinctly empty of the money he’d stolen. “What the- where’s the money?” Alec muttered.

“What do you mean, where’s the money?” came Parker’s hissed voice over the comms. “It’s not in his accounts?”

“If it was, I wouldn’t be asking where the money is,” replied Alec. “Is it in the safe?”

Parker was silent for a few more seconds, then said, “Nope.”

“I think I found it,” interrupted Eliot. “Or, well, the giant death ray it was sunk into.”

“Death ray?” said Parker and Alec simultaneously, while Amy let out a tiny gasp, which she turned into a cough. 

“Take a look,” growled Eliot, and a few seconds later, a picture appeared on Alec’s computer screen and yep, it really did seem to be a giant death ray.

“Oookay, Eliot, _get out of there_ ,” said Alec. 

“Don’t worry, I- oof!” There was a series of grunts and thuds that followed, the last one sounding like Eliot, then Eliot’s line went silent.

“Eliot. Eliot!” Alec said in a panicked voice. “Eliot, talk to me, dammit!”

There was no noise, but a few seconds later, Alec heard Mr. Smythe’s phone ring over Amy’s line. “Excuse me, Ms. Chakrabarti,” he said. “I have to take this.”

Alec’s mikes were good, but not good enough to hear both sides of Mr. Smythe’s conversation. “What are you going to do about him?” Alec heard Smythe say.

“No, keeping him alive is too risky. Use it on him.”

Alec blanched.

“I don’t care, use it anyway. Besides, it needs to be working by Friday. If it malfunctions, it’s better to know now rather than later.”

“I’m sorry about that, Ms. Chakrabarti. There was a matter I had to take care of.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” replied Amy, a slight crack in her voice the only indication that she was about to hear Eliot getting killed.

Alec was just frozen- he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, because Eliot, his and Parker’s boyfriend, their shield, their _partner_ \- was about to be killed, and there was nothing he or Parker or Amy could do about it.

There was a heavy thud as Eliot hit a probably-metallic surface- Eliot probably could have picked out exactly what type of metal it was based off of the sound _oh God Eliot would never be able to say how distinctive anything was ever again_ -

There was a faint buzzing sound from Eliot’s line- presumably, the death ray turning on- then a hideously loud zapping noise-

...and right before the mike shorted out, there was a sound like someone had sneezed?

There was a screech of tires from Parker’s line, and Alec was jerked back to reality. “Alec. Warehouse. Directions,” came Parker’s terse, angry voice.

Alec pulled up Parker’s location. “Straight, next left,” he said, his voice surprisingly calm considering his emotions were making a category-5 hurricane inside him. A few seconds later, there was another loud screech as Parker turned. 

“One mile ahead,” said Alec, and watched the dot on his screen shoot off. A minute later, there was another loud screech as Parker braked.

Parker took off running, her footsteps slowing down as the sounds of a scuffling and high-pitched yipping came over the comms.

The noises stopped with a final thud, and a few seconds later, Parker started laughing.

“Parker. Parker! What’s going on? Talk to me, talk to me,” Alec said. 

“Eliot’s-” Parker started to say, but broke off to laugh. “Eliot’s a dog!”

“What?” Alec and Amy exclaimed simultaneously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just fyi, the "science" in this work is complete bs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eliot looks a bit like [this](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v150/tperm/pom/pomeranian.jpg).

Parker didn’t know what to expect when she got to Eliot’s- to the warehouse.

He’d been teaching her how to fight, yes, but as much as she wanted to destroy the people who had done this, she knew she couldn’t- she was the Mastermind and Thief, Eliot was the Hitter.

She practically leaped out of the car and sprinted over to the warehouse, slowing down when she heard the sounds of a scuffle.

But why would there be a scuffle? Eliot was- Eliot was-

Parker poked her head around the corner to see a giant death ray, a bunch of goons lying on the ground, bite-marks and scratches all over them, and a small, fluffy tan dog taking down the last goon. Eliot was nowhere to be seen.

Once the goon was on the ground, the dog sniffed the air and started trotting over to her, somehow giving off the impression of indignation, and Parker realized that the dog- the tiny, fluffy, dog- was Eliot.

Parker couldn’t help it- she started laughing. Over the comms she heard Alec say, “Parker. Parker! What’s going on? Talk to me, talk to me.”

The dog- no, Eliot- finally reached her, and Parker reached out a hand to pet him. “Eliot-” she started to say, but broke out laughing at the pleased expression on dog-Eliot’s face. “Eliot’s a dog!”

“What?” exclaimed Amy and Alec, and while Amy quickly turned that into an explanation about how late it was getting, Parker kept on laughing and petting Eliot’s head absentmindedly.

There was sudden high-pitched growl, and Parker realized that some of the goons were stirring. “Let’s get out of here,” she said, scooping Eliot up (with a strangely adorable growl coming from him at the abrupt motion) and running back to the car.

By the time Parker got back to their headquarters, Amy was already there, still in her disguise. Parker observed that both she and Alec were nervous- Alec was fidgeting, and Amy was pacing- as she walked into the room and set Eliot down on top of the table.

“So… I think we need a new hitter,” said Parker after a few seconds of awkward silence. 

Eliot growled- which somehow sounded exasperated- and Parker said, “It’s not that you can’t fight, but you can’t talk to us. Also, now we definitely need to readjust the plan.”

“Right,” said Alec, pulling out his tablet. “So, what we know so far- the money Smythe stole isn’t in his accounts, because it was spent on a malfunctioning death ray that turned Eliot into a- dog. Smythe needs the death ray working on Friday, so that gives us 4 days to figure out what his plan is, stop it, get the money back, and get Eliot back.” He sighed. “Parker, call it?”

“Right,” Parker said. “Eliot, can you still understand us?”

Eliot barked, which presumably meant that he could. “Okay, I need you to give me the name and contact info of a hitter you trust. Amy, you cloned Smythe’s phone, right?” Amy nodded. “Good. Alec, pull that up. Chances are, by now he knows that the death ray didn’t work as planned, so you need to get any info you can. Amy, we’re going to steal some supplies for Eliot.” Amy looked like she was about to protest the word “steal”, but Parker kept on talking. “Oh, shoot, we need a new cook for the restaurant. Eliot, go talk with Alec about a replacement chef.”


	3. Chapter 3

_Note to self- just because Eliot is a small, fluffy dog does not mean he’s any less intimidating_ , Alec thought.

Eliot was a _Pomeranian_ , dammit. He was a tiny, tan-colored, fluffy-haired dog. He should not have been able to level a death glare at Hardison from very un-dog-like blue eyes as Hardison vetoed yet another replacement chef.

“ _What_ , man?” Alec snapped.

Eliot deliberately turned to look at the screen that Alec was using, then turned back to Alec. He didn’t make a single sound, but he was clearly saying to pick that chef.

“He’s not good enough,” Alec replied. 

Eliot rolled his eyes- and since when could dogs _roll their eyes_ , seriously- then trotted over and jabbed his nose at section of the screen that said “Graduated from Vargas Culinary School”.

“I ain’t dumb, I _saw_ that, Eliot, but…” Alec trailed off, and Eliot gave him a look that seemed to say _but_?

“But he’s not you,” Alec said quietly, looking down as his eyes stung. It had only been one day since Eliot got turned into a dog, but the loss of Eliot- the loss of _human_ Eliot- was painful. Last night, Alec had barely been able to go to sleep, the lack of Eliot’s warm, solid figure behind him disconcerting. This morning, he and Parker had both had to have cereal for breakfast, instead of Eliot making pancakes. They’d had to close the pub today and tell the rest of the staff that Eliot had suddenly gone out of town.

 _You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone_ , as someone had sang. After Nate and Sophie left, Alec, Parker, and Eliot had adapted to just having the three of them- professionally as well as personally. Now, there was a gaping Eliot-sized hole in their life. Alec was definitely beyond grateful that Eliot wasn’t _dead_ , but this was almost as bad.

Something cold brushed his forehead, and Alec jumped in his seat, only to see that Eliot had come over. His expressive blue eyes, instead of containing grumpiness or anger, now held concern.

“It’s- I’ll be fine, Eliot, I just…” Alec paused. “You almost died, except you didn’t and you’re a _dog_ , and there’s so much stuff you do that we need to figure out replacements for, and it’s just- I can’t quite process it. Parker and I _know_ you, and vice versa, but it’ll be hard working with a replacement chef, and working with Mikel is going to be like- like herding cats or something, I swear.”

Eliot tilted his head, and Alec continued. “I _know_ she’ll be fine, because you recommended her, and given what we’re paying her, but like I said, she’s not you, and it’ll be harder to work with her because none of us know what she’s like. We’ll manage- all of us are too good not to- but it won’t be as easy.”

Alec sighed, then used one hand to type out an email to the replacement chef, while his other hand petted Eliot. This whole situation really needed to be over.


	4. Chapter 4

“You told me that Spencer was unavailable. You did not tell me that he had turned into a kelev nichmad,” Mikel said as she washed the scratches on her arm. 

“A…what?” replied Alec.

“It means adorable dog,” Mikel clarified. “I assumed that since you only contacted me about replacing him for one job that he had just been hospitalized.”

“Eliot agreed that people shouldn’t know that he’s a dog,” Parker said from behind Alec, who jumped internally. 

“You also did not tell me that he would object to being picked up and petted,” Mikel said, her face as expressionless as her voice.

“To be fair, he didn’t claw us when we picked him up,” replied Alec. “Honestly, aside from the goons he took out after- _this_ , you’re the first person he’s attacked.”

And he’d done a good job of it, too. After Eliot had told him to pick Mikel as his replacement, Alec had done some research and determined that Eliot had picked well- not only was Mikel Dayan quite ferocious, a lot of her moves were similar to Eliot’s. Still, when she walked into the rooms behind the brewpub, she’d been taken quite by surprise when Eliot started clawing at her after she scooped him up into her arms.

“Anyway, if you’re done-” Alec looked questioningly at Mikel, who nodded as she turned off the water “-it’s time to get this show on the road. Parker, get Amy?”

Parker went to get Amy while Alec went over to his station in the conference room. A few seconds later, Parker returned with Amy in tow. “So, here’s what we got.”

 

After they were done with the briefing, Alec went to go feed Eliot. Over the course of the last 2 days, they’d found out that Eliot preferred cooked meat to regular dog food, so Alec pulled a steak out of the fridge and went to go fry it.

“How’s the other research going?” asked Parker.

Alec started a bit, but then sighed. “I wish I could say it was going well, but it isn’t. I’d need to study the machine, but since Smythe had it moved, I can’t exactly do that. Honestly, Parker, if Eliot isn’t back to normal by the time we’re done, I’m going to study it until I can figure out how to change him back.”

“Good idea,” Parker replied as she hugged Alec from behind. “I really miss having real Eliot.”

“Me too, girl. Me too,” said Alec as he started frying the steak.  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kelev nichmad- adorable dog


	5. Chapter 5

Amy’s mother had always told her to be careful about what you wished for- you just might get it.

Her part of the con had required her to have lunch with Mr. Smythe again, while Parker, Hardison, and Mikel did their things. As a result, she was wearing her mike when there was a sudden explosion of voices in her ear.

She couldn’t help it- she winced. Fortunately, she managed to pass it off as eating something that didn’t taste right when Mr. Smythe asked her what was wrong.

She managed to pay attention to whatever Mr. Smythe was talking about until she heard a familiar voice over her comms- Eliot’s voice.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, interrupting Mr. Smythe. “I need to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.”

“Of course,” he replied, and Amy grabbed her purse and hurried to the bathroom. 

Once she was inside, she said, “What’s going on?”

“Amy, you’re supposed to be talking to Smythe!” Parker exclaimed. 

“I’m in the bathroom,” Amy replied. “What’s going on? Eliot?”

“I’m here,” Eliot growled over the comms, and Amy nearly yelled in joy. “And _these two_ -” Amy could practically hear him glare at Parker and Hardison “-won’t let me join in.”

“Eliot, you just _transformed_ from a tiny dog back into a human,” Hardison said. “We’re concerned about your health, and we’re also on a time limit, so you should stay here.”

Eliot sounded like he was about to protest, but then Hardison murmured. “Besides, you’re going to need a lot of energy for what we’re going to do to you tonight.”

“Okay, I do not need to hear about your sex life on the job,” Amy complained. “I’m gonna go back out there.”

Shaking her head, Amy left the bathroom. Eliot was back to normal- now the only thing left to do was make Mr. Smythe _pay_.


End file.
